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[o68fe]

November 19, 2004

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WHY do I feel so out of place?
WHY can't I fit in with them?
WHY am I not able to speak well?
WHY do I fail so miserably on the people-to-people factor?

Guess i'm feeling

PARA

NOID

again.

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[o399fe]

Went to meet my going-into-reservist boyfriend today wearing a very long top with a very short pair of shorts. The top just about ends at my thighs, and it covers my shorts quite nicely, so it looks like I'm not wearing anything underneath. At first, I wore it with a pair of knee-length leggings, but it made me look like a pregnant woman so I ditched it. Then I wore it with my sister's ankle-length leggings, and I ended up looking like I was ready to go scuba diving, which cracked my sister up. So I decided that a pair of safety shorts is best. Quite interesting to know that I raised the eyebrows of this auntie at the bus stop, who gave me a rather disapproving look until I turned to her direction, at which she quickly turned away. The next person I noticed looking was the bus driver, as I clambered aboard. And I certainly made people look when we went for dinner at the food centre near jason's house. Hahaha. These people think I'm stupid enough not to wear shorts unde...

[o198fe]

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[o468fe]

I don't like to be alone. The emo-ness comes when I don't have someone to talk to to keep my mind off things. Why do I crap so much with my sister, talk like there's no tomorrow? I don't like to stay home if it's only my mom and me at home too. What for? Two miserable women hug each other and cry till the cows come home? And my mom, she behaves as if she's the only bloody woman who has a husband who betrayed her. No, ok. She's not the only sad person in this house. I try to accompany her as much as I can, but I need my own time to go destress ok? I can't be by her side all the time, I will go crazy. I have my own problems besides all the things happening at home, so please. Let me go.

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