remember the gp discussion on euthanasia that we had in j1. how i argued with wadever mr chan said just to spite him and make him work his smelly brains. to make the class perk up and finally have something interesting to listen to in class. today, i got my first-hand experience on such a discussion. as you may already know, my grandma is in critical condition in the ICU. apparently she has a subarachnoid haemorrhage tt's causing her laspe into a coma. just this afternoon, the doctor called us in for a talk, to tell us the decision we have to make. from his professional point of view, there is no hope of my grandma recovering fully. i don't blame him for saying that, seeing that the gla-sth-sth meter for my grandma is 6-7, whereas a normal, conscious person is between 9-15. so right now, he wants us to decide if we would allow for his team to slowly put my grandma off the life support. if we agree, the team would observe if she's ready to breathe on her own and make sure that she can do so before removing the air-tube. if she can't, then she stays on the tube until she can breathe on her own. the doctor also told us that for my grandma, they can only provide comfort care, which is to make her as comfortable as possible till the day comes and she leaves us. if after removing the tube she suffers, then they'll give her morphine. If she stays on the tube, she risks lung infection. So what do you think we can do? There's no better option than to ease her off the tube right?to me, when i heard the doctor's words, i just thought, is this retribution? for wad i said in that gp lesson? if it is, please take it on me and not on my grandma. and then i thought about mr koh, whom i know if i told this news, would launch into philo speak. to let her go, or to drag on her suffering? i really cannot believe that i am actually discussing someone's life or death. but we all know the truth: my grandma would need a miracle to pull through all this unscathed. i know time is running out for me, yet whenever i see her, i can't say the things i want to, to tell her i love her and always will be, that she has us with her no matter what. i am even tearing now as i type this; she means alot to me. i can't continue now, i'm too choked up with tears.
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