[o130fe]

thanks everyone for your concern. but it's just...different. i saw my auntie cry but i know her hurt is deep within, the tears mean much more than it shows. then my cousin cried, his face turned red. Me? I gave them tissue. I had to stay strong for them. If i were to end up crying too, who'ld be there to comfort them? Everyone is frazzled by this incident. Tempers flare up at the slight temptations. It seems like a battleground there. Of life, death, happiness, sadness, decisions. I didn't want to go there yesterday, but thinking about everything, I had to. But then, we're all so helpless, sitting ducks in the waiting room. What can we do? Nothing. right now, i just want to sleep through this horrible, nasty, nightmare. My uncle called at 3am to ask for my mother. she left for the hospital without telling us anything. do you expect me to sleep easy after that?

okay, okay. everything aside, thanks for all of your encouragement. i'm sorry i have to trouble you all. please bear with me.